


A Simply Irresistible AU

by rockinhamburger



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 03:22:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21190745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockinhamburger/pseuds/rockinhamburger
Summary: Jack is miserable. he should be happy, right? he’s living his dream. and yet…-A bullet point plot bunny for the movie Simply Irresistible, which I originally posted on Tumblr but have now posted here with a second part, continuing where I left off.





	A Simply Irresistible AU

**Author's Note:**

> A plot bunny that demanded to be written. Posted on [Tumblr](https://rockinhamburger.tumblr.com/post/188617193118/check-please-au-simply-irresistible), now with a new part added.
> 
> So for anyone who doesn’t know or forgot about this movie (as I did until this idea sprouted), _Simply Irresistible_ is a romcom movie from 1999 that starred Sarah Michelle Gellar. The movie was not well-received by critics BUT it seems to me the overall plot (if not the finer details) would work really well for a _Check, Please_ AU.

    

    
* Bitty is the co-owner of a diner restaurant in Providence; his speciality is, duh, dessert

    

    
* Jack is an NHL hockey player who’s on track to getting captaincy and is coming off a Stanley Cup win with the Falconers

    

    
* by all accounts, Jack should be happy

    

    
* Jack is miserable

    

    
* he should be happy, right? he’s _living his dream_. and yet…

    

    
* but things change when he walks into the restaurant Bitty works at and orders himself a coffee and a piece of pie

    

    
* the pie is so good it’s basically magic

    

    
* about halfway through his piece, he is abruptly and suddenly _giddy_ with a joy and excitement he hasn’t felt since the Cup, and even that pales in comparison to his joy right now

    
* Jack’s so happy he has to get the recipe for this pie so he asks the waiter to check with the cook

    

    
* the waiter, a pint-sized ray of sunshine and ball of pure energy who calls himself Bitty, cheekily tells him he’s the cook and since it’s a family recipe he’ll just have to come back if he wants more

    

    
* Jack wants more

    

    
* so he comes back, and he keeps coming back, and before long he can’t stay away; he visits whenever he isn’t away for a game

    

    
* and in the meantime, he’s been having great conversations with Bitty the baker and eating joy pie

    

    
* it really is joy pie. he feels unencumbered joy every time he eats a slice

    

    
* that is, until the day he feels inexplicably nervous partway through his pie and the nerves only worsen as he continues eating

    

    
* then Bitty comes out from the back and he’s a ball of nervous energy himself

    

    
* (”There’s a food critic coming in an hour!”)

    

    
* Jack gets a strange thought but he brushes it aside - too absurd

    

    
* back to joy for a few weeks and then one day it’s just white hot anger

    

    
* Jack overhears Bitty on the phone; Bitty’s all “bless your heart” with ice passive aggression and an anger that radiates off him. Jack checks with Bitty, asks if he’s okay, but Bitty just apologizes to Jack for his ‘foul temper’ (“It’s been a _day_”). he stills seems off for the rest of Jack’s visit, though…

    

    
* and then there’s the day, about six weeks after his first visit, that he has a few bites of pie and suddenly there’s a wobble in his chin and his eyes are spilling over with tears

    
* he literally can’t remember the last time he cried

    

    
* and he isn’t sad so what’s happening to him???

    

    
* if anything, he’s been feeling a lot better since he began visiting the diner (and spending time with cheerful, charming Bitty)!

    

    
* it doesn’t make sense

    

    
* sure, he’s not _happy_ with his life, exactly, but it’s not so bad that he should be _crying in a diner over pie_

    

    
* and that is the moment Bitty wanders out from the kitchen, sniffling, eyes red

    

    
* and somehow, inexplicably, Jack understands

    

    
* it makes no sense

    

    
* but somehow Jack’s experiencing and feeling Bitty’s emotions _through the pie_

    

    
* yes, Bitty’s pie is _actual magic_

    

    
* it takes a few moments, but soon Jack’s got his breath back and has successfully stifled his tears, if not the abject misery coursing through him from Bitty’s magic pie

    

    
* naturally, he asks Bitty what’s wrong

    

    
* Bitty tries to change the subject but Jack doesn’t let him

    

    
* he’s gotten to know Bitty during his visits over the last couple of months and has noticed a pattern of Bitty steering conversations away from strong emotions

    

    
* (which is interesting, Jack reflects, since his pie seems perfectly willing to express his emotions for him)

    

    
* when Jack presses him, Bitty admits he’s sad because they’re going to have to shutter their business

    

    
* he and his business partner have no choice but to sell the diner because they’re facing a rent increase next year, due to the building’s location in Providence’s up-and-coming business centre

    

    
* (ahhh gentrification)

    

    
* it takes all of a few seconds for Jack to come up with a solution

    

    
* he asks how much the rent’s increasing, and when Bitty says they’re asking for double what they’re paying now Jack immediately tell him he’ll cover the difference

    

    
* Bitty stares at him, clearly dumbfounded, for several long moments

    

    
* then he calls Jack ridiculous and says that makes no sense when the patronage at the diner is just not what it needs to be to justify remaining open

    

    
* Jack asks about that food critic that came by last month

    

    
* Bitty explains the piece never went to print because the guy got fired

    

    
* (ahhh media layoffs)

    

    
* Jack insists he’s happy to help keep the business afloat but Bitty refuses and firmly changes the subject

    

    
* when Jack gets back from a week of games on the road, he texts Bitty to ask for a meeting with Bitty and his business partner

    

    
* he’s thought a lot and he’s talked it out with his folks and his financial advisor, and he’s ready to do some convincing

    

    
* he meets Bitty and his business partner, a petite but tough-looking woman named Larissa (”call me Lardo”), one evening after they close up for the day

    

    
* Jack can tell he’s going to have to work to convince both of them

    

    
* so he shows them the proposal he made during every bit of spare time he had while on the road

    

    
* he explains that he’s been looking for something to finance since his hockey career won’t last forever

    

    
* he wants to be part of something important: he explains that Bitty’s pies are magic and deserve to be experienced by anyone who needs a little extra joy in their lives

    

    
* Jack tells them he wants to be an investor in their business in exchange for 5% equity

    

    
* (he’d initially suggested 1% to his financial advisor, and she had not found his attempt at humour funny, particularly once she realized he was only sort of kidding about the percentage)

    

    
* he tells them his plans to ramp up advertising, do a pop-up and invite the Falconers and the hockey media to attend, and to basically use his fame to bring as much attention as possible to _Slice of Madison Heaven_

    

    
* he finishes off his proposal by saying that if they don’t want to part with any equity, he’s happy to give them a loan with zero interest, that they can pay back whenever they’re able

    

    
* Bitty and Lardo look quite taken aback once Jack’s finished, so he excuses himself from the table to give them a chance to talk it over

    

    
* they beckon him over soon enough and accept the offer, but insist on giving him 33% equity

    

    
* he talks them down to 20%

    

    
* and they shake on it

    

    
* (obviously the real reason he’s doing all this is so he can continue seeing Bitty whenever he’s in town, because it’s just awful to imagine his life going back to status quo now that he knows the joy offered by regular visits with the ray of sunshine that is _this little shit_ Eric Bittle)

    

    
* (Jack never once considers that he could have just asked Bitty out on a date)

    

    
* (but let’s be real: we’re talking about Jack 110% Zimmermann here)

    


End file.
